Trauma, Addiction & Post-Traumatic Growth

by Rebecca A. Watson on November 20, 2014

in Recovery

So Sante and I are celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary this week by sitting at home sick on the couch together. While I hate being sick, like we’ve said to eachother today, there’s no one I’d rather be stuck on the couch with for a week.

santa cruz wedding

Awwww … we’re two very lucky people.

So instead of a long post today, I’m taking care of myself. But I did want to share this incredible video I watched last night. (I’ll link to it here, since for whatever reason those of you who get my posts via email don’t get the video embedded.)

It’s all about the science and psychology behind trauma and addiction. There’s even something called post-traumatic growth, which in the case of this video, he illustrates by talking about J.R.R. Tolkien. Um, hello? This guy is definitely speaking my language.

Fascinating stuff and well done, with enough graphics to keep me interested. I love the idea of post-traumatic growth. I’d like to think I’ve done a lot of that. Now if only I can harness that to write something as epic as The Lord of the Rings. Then, my friends, life would be even sweeter than it is now.

What do you think about the video? If you’ve dealt with trauma or addiction or both, did it speak to you?

P.S. If you haven’t already, get in on my money spell by donating to my friend Mir’s fund. If you can’t donate, please share. I’ll cast a luck spell for anyone who shares.

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I’m Casting a Money Spell on Saturday. Want In?

by Rebecca A. Watson on November 17, 2014

in goals, life, love, magic

I’m taking a break this week from my Monday Morning Pages because I have something important I want to share with you. We’ll return to our regularly scheduled programming next week.

This Saturday is a new moon. For me that means sowing seeds (prayers, spells, whatever you want to call them) that I’d like to grow as the full moon approaches. Different witches have different ideas for when the best time to cast a spell is; for me, it’s the new moon.

Those who’ve read my blog for awhile know I’m not into advertising or asking for much. I don’t use affiliate links and only share things I would use/do/read myself. I also don’t use my spells to garner support. My witchcraft is generally very personal — I cast the odd spell for all of humanity, but most often they’re used for me or people I know well.

I am making an exception this week. A dear friend of mine Mirjam lost her fiancé recently. He died unexpectedly after exercising one night. These two had the kind of love you could feel radiating off them. Big Love. The whole ordeal is heartbreaking.

miri n michi

Not only did she lose her lover and best friend, she lost part of her financial support. Her teacher training salary will not allow her to stay in her home. After this final year of teacher training, she will be eligible for a job with higher pay, and she’ll be able to afford the rent.

To help her out, we’ve created a GoFundMe page to raise the money she needs. None of us want to see her have to move during such a stressful time. Plus moving can be so expensive, it never seems to save much money, does it?

I will be casting the money spell on Saturday afternoon, and anyone who donates to Miri’s cause will be included in the spell. No donation is too small. Even if we don’t reach our goal, she will keep all money raised.

I generally get 600 or so visitors on my Monday Morning Pages each day, so if we could each donate 5 bucks, the campaign would be done today.

For those of you who can’t spare the cash right now — I’ve been there. I know how hard it can be to stretch a budget — I’m also casting a luck spell for anyone who shares the link. It’s super easy.

campaignpage

For those of you who are skeptical of spells, I say donate and share anyway. I could try to convince you by telling you that I’ve paid for emergency room bills, come up with cash for rent deposits when I was broke or received checks at the most opportune moments because of my rituals, but I don’t think that’s necessary.

There are plenty of other reasons to donate: Helping your fellow (wo)man, good karma, being a philanthropist, you have a little cash burning a hole in your pocket. BUT know that I’ve donated, so this spell isn’t purely selfless.

There are some seriously cute brown boots I’ve been eyeing at the store, so a few extra bucks in my bank account would do me some good too. I could use a good money spell. I’m sure you could too. So skip the fancy latte today and donate now. I guarantee you’ll see a return later :)

 

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“Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.”
~Plato

I wrote last week about how this time of year has been a bit of a struggle for me, year after year. Yes, there have been reasons in the past. This year, not so much. I’ve been blessed. But still the darkness comes.

But this time it’s different. I’m trying to get to know it. Invite it to tea, as one of my friends said. And this song has been rolling around in my mind a lot lately. In fact, the whole album, Secondhand Rapture, is like a soundtrack for my dark journey now.

In 2012 I wrote this:

Last night I had a dream where Sante was flying a plane and we were running out of gas and we were kinda in a fog but he landed it perfectly. I am not 100% but I’m pretty sure I had a similar dream with fog and an airplane a few nights ago too.

I think it’s about you two navigating some pretty mysterious secrets and end up being OK although it might seem dire. Exactly.

And we did end up navigating some big things in that year. There was the abuse I was processing, the sadness of losing my grandmother and part of my family, the darkness that came up because of all that. In 2013:

I’m letting go — I’m choosing to put down the burden and the pain I’ve been carrying around in terms of … what? In terms of your abuse? You think you can let that go? You don’t even know the whole story. I’m never going to know the whole story. Trying to find it has only caused me heartache.

I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. Well, I say take it fucking easy. You have a lot on your plate. One thing at a time. Just breath. You will be fine. You will be amazing. You ARE amazing.

Now I feel like the darkness this time is OK. It’s like I have a map or something. Hell, I clearly have a map if I’m already making the soundtrack. Here’s what I wrote today to a friend who asked how I’ve been.

Still a little low but MUCH better than in the past few weeks. I also have been coming to a lot of poignant realizations that I think wouldn’t be surfacing if I wasn’t allowing myself to just be … well, sad.

I’ve always struggled to get through my depression — to “manage” it for me meant to get rid of it. This time I am trusting that it will move along on its own, knowing that I’m doing what I need to do to stay healthy, and I’m learning some things. Whew! Yeah, so there’s that :)

It’s a great feeling, to not be scared of your emotions anymore. This is the first time I’ve not freaked out about being down. I know I’ll move through this; I’m doing the right things. And in the meantime, oh lord are the realizations coming hard and fast? Yes, without a doubt. And I say, bring ‘em on.

Wondering what this Monday Morning Pages thing is all about? Read how it started. Or check out all the archives

Inspired and want to journal but hate to write? I’ve got a free audio class for you: Four Ways to Journal for Those Who Hate Journaling and you can get it here.

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Drunken Stories and Lucid Truths

November 6, 2014

My great-grandfather drove a taxi in Detroit during Prohibition. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the geography of Michigan, Detroit is a drive across the bridge to Windsor, Canada. In addition to my GG’s legitimate earnings, he would run booze for the mafia. Oh, and did I mention my great grandmother was a […]

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MMP: Time Change, Mood Change

November 3, 2014

So you guys, it is just me or are other people getting sick and feeling depressed around this time change? It’s been more than a week here now, but I am not shaking this ickiness as easily as I normally do. This is not a ploy for attention or anything. I’m embarrassed to even write […]

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Indian Lemon Cumin Chicken Dinner (Gluten Free, Dairy Free)

October 30, 2014

Sante and I’d invited a friend over for dinner a few weeks ago, where I cooked this dish. She mentioned that chicken is one of the most acceptable to eat meats in every culture. It’s true: Chicken will reign over all other consumed meats sooner rather than later. Recently I read that the closest living relative […]

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MMP: When Mortification Turns Into Compassion

October 27, 2014

**Trigger warning: This post talks a bit about child abuse. Nothing in great detail, but if you’re sensitive I wanted to give you a heads up.** Last week when I wasn’t feeling well, I decided to watch Mortified Nation, a documentary recommended to me by a good friend. It’s on Netflix right now. I highly […]

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5 Lessons I Learned From Waiting Tables

October 23, 2014

A warning before I begin. This post contains some NSFW-language. And by not safe for work, I mean what people in the restaurant industry call “real jobs,” because damn straight this language is fine for slinging beers, at least in the breakroom while you’re wolfing down cold, dead food, or while you’re in the dishroom having […]

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MMP: Calling in Sick

October 21, 2014

I’ve given in. I am sick. Thank goodness Netflix has finally made it to Germany. I’m no good at this sitting around. But I’m giving it a try. So, in lieu of my normal long rambly post with journal entries woven in, I’m going to post this meditation I read yesterday morning. It’s really stuck […]

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Weekend Reads for 17th of October 2014

October 17, 2014

I’ve started noticing that I have a lot of stuff I like to read and share. And I write a lot in other places that I’d like to share as well. So, I thought I’d try hooking you up with some weekend (or weekday, depending on when you pop over here) reading. Me, Online Elsewhere 3 […]

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