Reasons I love the -30 degrees in Minneapolis:
- I saw a grown man dressed in a green and purple snow suit…on his way to work.
- Bicyclists were riding down the street with ski goggles on.
- My neighbors and I pushed my girlfriend’s car back into its parking spot after it was too cold to take a jump!
- My boss actually said the phrase “Now I’m an idiot, but at least I wear a hat.”
- Seeing the weather in Washington D.C. at 20 degrees and thinking, “Hey! Springtime! It’s a tropical vacation!”
- After “skiing” at Buck Hill, my friend made me feel her cold ass…it was all red and freezing! This was after 45 minutes of driving in a car with heated seats! Insane! (Isn’t that where you stay the warmest? In the fatty part of your body? Biology is a myth.)
- The coffee at work suddenly tastes delicious…at least it’s warm.
- My coworker had to have her husband bring her pants to work because she forgot to put them on under her ski pants.
- I get to wear all of my scarves at once. It’s like a true fashion show. All at once!
- The sun is soooo bright and beautiful. It looks as though I could spend the day at the beach. But it is a yellow f*cking lie!!
- Bragging rights…when I finally move somewhere warmer I’ll always be one of those annoying people who says “You think this is cold…”
God bless Minnesota. It gives me a chance to test my optimism when even when it’s suffering from frostbite.