I get by with a little help from my friends

by Rebecca A. Watson on June 18, 2010

in friends

“Why do I flip out when a guy I’m into doesn’t text me back right away? If you don’t call me back, I never think I wonder if Rebecca still likes me.”

–Nicole

oblivious

I’m a sucker for those magazines near the checkout lines at grocery stores. Those flashy headlines get me every time.

They’re so exciting that every letter must be capitalized: 77 Sex Positions in 77 Days, 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Your Man, 8 Ways To Eat Cookies Without Gaining Weight! I’m kidding about that last one, but I bet I could probably write that article.

So many of these articles are about a significant other. Where are the articles about friendship? When you consider that most people only have one partner at a time and are likely to have several friends at once, wouldn’t it be smart to have more tips on friendship?

friends

So here are 5 Great Ways To Keep Your Friends Coming Around:

  1. Be open: To new foods, music, exercise, hobbies, movies, ideas, modes of transportation, whatever! Friends are a great way to broaden your horizons, and they will appreciate you taking an interest in what they’re passionate about. If you like them, then liking what they’re into might not be too much of a stretch.
  2. Be vocal: Send a text, Tweet, email, voicemail, FB message, or even *gasp* send a postcard to say I’m stoked you’re my friend. You make me smile. I’m thinking of you. It takes a few moments to make someone feel special.
  3. But not too vocal: You’ve got two ears and one mouth. Listen and be present when you’re talking with your friends. Remember that they have a weakness for fried chicken or that their sister is struggling in college. Conversations will flow easier and you’ll be wiser for it.
  4. Ask questions: Advice is rarely solicited and often given. Instead of telling someone what you think, ask what their opinion is. If you’re meeting at your favorite restaurant, ask where they like to eat. It makes people feel valued and opens your mind to new things (see No. 1).
  5. Keep in touch: Literally and physically. It doesn’t matter if you’re around the corner or on different continents, make sure to chat at least a few times a month, even if it’s just a quick hello. And when you see your friend, give them a hug or a friendly scratch on the back! Physical contact makes friendships more real.

I’m not claiming to be an expert. But I have some pretty amazing resources. This post is dedicated to all of the friends who have taught me what I know about being a good friend.

My knowledge is by no means complete, but without them it would be absent: Johanna, Nicole, Iain, and yes, my significant other, Sante.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

MeAgain June 18, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Now this is awesomeness and just what I needed.

xoxo

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Ms. Becca June 18, 2010 at 4:59 pm

So glad :D xoxox lady!

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Jennifer June 21, 2010 at 10:52 pm

Can I just start by saying I love your blog’s new look?

And you’re so right, while we’re inundated by tips on how to be the perfect bf/gf, there’s not much out there on how to be a good friend. I never thought about that until I read this. Thanks for expanding my horizons yet again :D

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Ms. Becca June 21, 2010 at 11:37 pm

I’m happy that you like my blog’s new look. Soothing, no?

Always glad to expand your horizons–I’m just returning the favor :)

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Lilly May 20, 2013 at 4:27 pm

I love this. I had a random postcard sitting on my desk and after reading this I sat down right away and stamped it and sent a message to a dear friend telling her how and why my life is richer for having her in it. Fabulous stuff.

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Ms. Becca May 20, 2013 at 6:08 pm

So glad you like it :) And super happy that I inspired you to write a quick note to your friend. There is nothing more wonderful than a random piece of mail! Well, maybe there are a few things, but still! Unexpected small things like that RULE!

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