Archive for July, 2012

The need to believe in something big


2012
07.08

Last year while we were camping, a friend of mine told me about a show he loved where the hosts go looking for Sasquatch.

We sat around the campfire while he recounted episodes where the hosts visit certain area (including where I grew up) and declare them “squatchy.” This friend wears a hat that reads “Gone Squatchin’.”

He wasn’t the only Bigfoot enthusiast at the campsite. I’m a believer, I said nonchalantly. Another guy told us his theory on how Sasquatch was actually an alien.

I can’t say where everyone else’s fixation with Bigfoot came from, but I think mine started around the time of Harry and the Hendersons’s. Y’know:

I remember being frightened and crying during that movie, but I was also in love with Harry. I don’t think I was the only one.

As an adult, I spend a lot of time in the woods. Camping is a summer-long activity for us, and I hike year-round in some very Squatchy areas.

When I’m there, I think about Harry…er, Bigfoot, and wonder if s/he watches us. Sometimes I talk to her/him, telepathically of course.

Here’s the thing: the woods is full of scary shit. And while I know the rules for how to deal with a mountain lion, I’m not quite sure how intimidating I could be.

how to deal with mountain lion warning sign

Yeti, on the other hand, is seriously badass. I have this completely unfounded belief that if  I come across a mountain lion, Bigfoot will protect me.

Well, not completely unfounded. I did have a dream about it. But I’ve also had a dream I was a zombie. So … yeah.

So why do I really believe in Sasquatch? Maybe because I have a feeling this creature is out there. But maybe also because there’s a part of me that hopes for more wilderness. Something a little more wild, undiscovered.

Or maybe it’s like how some people believe in God. I mean, I’m hiking through the forest hoping something I’ve never seen (or heard) will save me if I get attacked by a mountain lion.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m way into the higher power thing, but it’s still no three dimensional being, and Sasquatch is. I think.

Or maybe it’s this: Sasquatch is a part of me. The animal inside me that sees things for what they truly are. The one that closes its eyes in ecstasy at the taste of a good strawberry. The animal that loves nothing more than to pee next to a tree while listening to a river sing. And the beast that would let loose its battle cry when its life is threatened.

And because I’ve been divorced from that part of my being for so long, because we all have, Sasquatch is a story, a myth. Because we couldn’t possibly be that hedonistic. Or that selfish. Or that honest.

The ones who are, the ones who do believe, are just a bit crazy. Eccentric. And I guess I’m OK with that. I hope more people can be too. So cheers to Sasquatch and the animal in you and me!

Balancing growth and mindfulness


2012
07.04

It’s Independence Day here in the United States, and it coincides with my own personal Independence Day three years ago when I moved out of Minnesota to California.

Independence from snow. From cold and extreme heat. (Lordy, I don’t miss that!) And independence from old definitions, habits and choices. Aside from my birthday, this is one of my favorite personal holidays to celebrate.

In celebrating this personal holiday for the past three years, I’ve noticed that my independence continues to evolve. It seems each year I have something more to celebrate, something new to move toward. While it can sometimes seem overwhelming and difficult, growth isn’t always a popular choice.

tree big basin

Ah, but life is long, isn’t it? Maybe I’m not going to live as long as this tree, but since time is relative, I hope it feels that way when I get finally say goodbye to this earth.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my life path. Seeing that tree this week isn’t the only thing that has me thinking long-term. Or casting my eye toward my future a bit more.

It seems for many years I’ve been looking back and comparing myself to the person I was, comparing my life to how I used to live. It’s not entirely a bad thing. I’ve made some drastic and beautiful changes; I’m proud of them and feel justified in dwelling for awhile.

rebecca past present

But lately my inner-voice is saying, Yes, you did that. But what are you about to doThere are so many things I can answer with, but it comes to this: I want to live in this moment.

Goals are great to keep you moving forward. Growth is awesome. But so often I get stuck between reveling in the past and planning for the future I forget that this is it. It’s all happening now.

So I’ll still celebrate my evolving independence. And yes, I’ll continue to make vision boards to remind me of future goals. But what I’m aiming for is a more mindful present. To “just be,” as my friend Johanna and I used to say.

Exercise is probably the best way that I’ve found to keep me in the moment. Trying new things also makes it pretty easy. (I would’ve fallen a lot more mountain biking this past weekend if I was thinking about meetings I had later in the week.)

And Sante and I try to remind each other as well, asking “Where are you right now?” when we notice the other person is off in another world

What helps you to stay in the present moment? I’m open to any and all suggestions, so please comment! Any resources you found helpful (books, websites, videos, etc.) would be great.

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