Archive for the ‘beliefs’ Category

Modern super power: Changing oneself


2012
12.05

About a year ago my knees were really bothering me, particularly the left one. I’m super-active, and it was impeding my ability to hike and work out the way I wanted to. Before I caved and made an appointment with a *shudder* orthopedic surgeon, I thought I’d ask my chiropractor if I could do anything less invasive.

He took my socks off and touched the outsides of my feet and announced I was a supinator. (Super what?) Supination, or underpronating, can affect all sorts of things in your body: hips, knees, ankles. Basically you can wear out your joints more quickly. Here’s a fancy little video I found helpful.

My chiropractor showed me how to cut shoe insoles so that my feet could naturally pronate. I couldn’t believe how much a difference $3 and a few weeks made. My knees felt great, even after 14 mile hikes. Now they’re in all my shoes, even my sandals.

The thing that I struggle with is how much I love to be barefoot. I can’t put insoles on my feet! So I’ve started to pay more attention to how I’m walking to be sure I push off the middle part of my foot.

barefoot in the grass

I’m not about to give up the feeling of grass between my toes.

This got me thinking about how we are all built with flaws, physical and mental defects that are part of who we are. Some of us may have lower levels of serotonin, others may have a more difficult time reading; our hair can fall out or stop growing at a certain length.

As an optimist, when I run into a problem in my external life, I view it as a challenge to overcome. Couldn’t we apply that same thing to what goes on inside our bodies? I’ve always thought so. It is possible to change our physical makeup and not just through surgery or pills.

Recently, I was pointed to a TED Talk by Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist. The premise is that by standing in a certain way for two minutes, we can change our body chemistry, therefore becoming more assertive and possibly more successful.

For my 30 Day Challenge in November, I tried to stand in a power pose, like Wonder Woman, for two minutes every day. Now I wasn’t super-consistent with this, as November turned out to be a very challenging month (does Mercury in retrograde kick any one else around?, but when I did do this, I noticed a few things.

I was more assertive, yes, but I also interacted more with people in situations. I guess assertive is another way of saying “not shy,” but I don’t consider them synonymous. I also felt calm in stressful situations, which came in handy at my first two-hour-long speaking engagement.

Another really awesome thing was that my self-esteem increased. When I started being Wonder Woman, I stopped looking for flaws in the mirror and just mentally high-fived myself for being awesome just the way I am. This was something that I hadn’t been able to do before, even after reading loads of self-help on the matter.

wonder woman Daniel Scott Gabriel Murray

I always knew she could give me strength.

I believe that we can always improve and reinvent ourselves, not just psychologically, but mentally and physically as well. If cells are constantly dying and regenerating, wouldn’t it make sense that we are also dying and regenerating? Why not improve the cells we’re regenerating?

Why not change our physical and mental chemistry as well? That’s my aim for these coming months. I’m willing my hair to grow longer and learning to walk again.

Have you ever experienced physical or mental improvements in your life that had nothing to do with pills or surgery? What was it? How did it come about?

The need to believe in something big


2012
07.08

Last year while we were camping, a friend of mine told me about a show he loved where the hosts go looking for Sasquatch.

We sat around the campfire while he recounted episodes where the hosts visit certain area (including where I grew up) and declare them “squatchy.” This friend wears a hat that reads “Gone Squatchin’.”

He wasn’t the only Bigfoot enthusiast at the campsite. I’m a believer, I said nonchalantly. Another guy told us his theory on how Sasquatch was actually an alien.

I can’t say where everyone else’s fixation with Bigfoot came from, but I think mine started around the time of Harry and the Hendersons’s. Y’know:

I remember being frightened and crying during that movie, but I was also in love with Harry. I don’t think I was the only one.

As an adult, I spend a lot of time in the woods. Camping is a summer-long activity for us, and I hike year-round in some very Squatchy areas.

When I’m there, I think about Harry…er, Bigfoot, and wonder if s/he watches us. Sometimes I talk to her/him, telepathically of course.

Here’s the thing: the woods is full of scary shit. And while I know the rules for how to deal with a mountain lion, I’m not quite sure how intimidating I could be.

how to deal with mountain lion warning sign

Yeti, on the other hand, is seriously badass. I have this completely unfounded belief that if  I come across a mountain lion, Bigfoot will protect me.

Well, not completely unfounded. I did have a dream about it. But I’ve also had a dream I was a zombie. So … yeah.

So why do I really believe in Sasquatch? Maybe because I have a feeling this creature is out there. But maybe also because there’s a part of me that hopes for more wilderness. Something a little more wild, undiscovered.

Or maybe it’s like how some people believe in God. I mean, I’m hiking through the forest hoping something I’ve never seen (or heard) will save me if I get attacked by a mountain lion.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m way into the higher power thing, but it’s still no three dimensional being, and Sasquatch is. I think.

Or maybe it’s this: Sasquatch is a part of me. The animal inside me that sees things for what they truly are. The one that closes its eyes in ecstasy at the taste of a good strawberry. The animal that loves nothing more than to pee next to a tree while listening to a river sing. And the beast that would let loose its battle cry when its life is threatened.

And because I’ve been divorced from that part of my being for so long, because we all have, Sasquatch is a story, a myth. Because we couldn’t possibly be that hedonistic. Or that selfish. Or that honest.

The ones who are, the ones who do believe, are just a bit crazy. Eccentric. And I guess I’m OK with that. I hope more people can be too. So cheers to Sasquatch and the animal in you and me!

If you love the Internet, SOPA is your enemy.


2012
01.14

I’ve censored the following in protest of a bill that gives any corporation and the U.S. government the power to censor the internet: a bill that could pass THIS WEEK. To see the uncensored text, and to stop internet censorship, visit: http://americancensorship.org/posts/37074/uncensor

I’m not a ████ fan of ████████ ████████ to my ████, but ████ is █████████ ████ ████ ██████ ████████, ██████████. I █████ ████████ who ██████ ███████ of ██████, or ████ ███████ in ███████, ██████ █████ ████ and get ████████.

Uncensor This

PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

Learn more about what you can do to stop SOPA, whether you’re an American or not. And then actually do it. Please and thanks to all!

Life’s expensive when you don’t pay attention


2011
08.23

Up until about two months ago, the only organic food I bought was produce, unless it was on sale. Then I realized that organic food doesn’t just help me, it helps all life on this planet. Be the change, right?

So I’m making this recipe that calls for frozen spinach the other day and I naturally pick up the one labeled organic and throw it in my cart. I get all the way home and see that yes, it is organic … but it is grown in China.

map distance from china to california 15,000 kilometers

37 days of "driving"

Somehow I think the benefits of growing the plant organically are offset by the voyage it makes across the sea. Well, I’m embarrassed.

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and if I believed in hell, I guess I could believe that. But I think this is more of a situation where I did one thing because it’s my habit. I did it without paying attention. But even the best habits can be taken too far and turn on us when we we’re not being mindful.

The Dangers of Exercising Too Much?

We might exercise past the point that’s healthy and hurt ourselves when our bodies are telling us to slow down. The every-day walk through the woods might be nice, but the path-less-traveled leads to a beautiful lake offering more serenity than we’d ever experienced in the trees. We might eat fruit everyday because it’s a habit and lose out on the vital nutrients our bodies are craving (needing) that a saltier snack would provide.

Kale

Kale and other leafy greens do wonders for salt cravings. Yum!

Paying attention, being mindful, not only keeps us out of those ruts, but it’s also a great anxiety reliever. If you truly live in the moment, there is no need to worry about what comes next or what we could have done better earlier that day.  (And if you believe in hell, who knows? It could keep you outta there too.)

I’ve been working hard to stay present and not buy any more organic food shipped across the ocean, among other things. What about you? What are you paying attention to?

Birthday wish No. 31


2011
04.15

I’ve been trying to recognize patterns and habits in my life and change them for the past four years or so. History repeats itself, so they say, and I have been bound and determined to make sure my negative tendencies and choices are replaced with healthful ones.

Break the circle, so to speak. And so far, it’s been a pretty successful endeavor, if I do say so myself.

Damn, I'm good.

So why is it, that as I stand on the precipice of a birthday, a prime number age at that, I realize I just walked into one of the oldest patterns in the book?

My past lives are screaming at me, “My mother was a slave to a man!” “My father served a man until he died!!” “My family were slaves to man!!!” as they watch me gleefully dance into a job serving … the Catholic church. This isn’t the man, the government. This is The Man: The Establishment.

Nevermind that I had to get a job quickly because of a desperate situation. The strange thing is that this didn’t even occur to me. I can’t even confess to being seduced by money because I accepted the job before I even knew my salary.

All I can say is that this happened because it was an abstract concept to me: the Church. Maybe it’s because I don’t really know any devout Catholics that I just assumed there weren’t any. Foolish, shortsighted Rebecca.

Now I work with nuns.

Hindsight is truly 20/20.

As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m a bit of a feminist. I fiercely defend women’s rights. And I’m not so keen on the idea of sexually abusing children either. Deserved or not, my view of the Church was a witch-burning, child-abusing, patriarchal, land-owning oppressor.

After a little run-in with a co-worker who cringed at the words “family planning,” did I ever climb up on my high horse and ride it. Now I’m a good-looking lady, but self-righteousness doesn’t flatter anyone.

At the same time, Congress was fighting over funding for Planned Parenthood. And I had just been to an insanely good Ani Difranco concert. I was on fire.

*Drama Queen exit stage left*

Being the good adult I am (and at the pleading of Sante), I didn’t immediately quit my job. I talked to aforementioned co-worker and even *gasp* a Sister, one of JC’s wives. (Damn, dude is a pimp!) I’ve stayed on, begrudging all the patriarchy around me, becoming what I swore I would never be: An angry feminist.

This can’t be right, I thought earlier tonight. I’m turning 31 (an excellent age) tomorrow. My life is unbelievable rad: great friends, amazing man, house, running water, yummy food, etc. etc. How does this jive?

Pandora’s and my dragon warrior’s voice were all echoing in my head. Was staying at my job flushing my life into the pattern I’d been trying to bust out of for eons?

But as I was taking a shower (bless that amazing space for epiphanies), my relatively new habit of attempting balance kicked this thought at me: Maybe the answer to The Man isn’t disassociation; perhaps a knee-jerk feminist response isn’t the answer. After all, isn’t balance about avoiding extremes?

Be the change you want to see in the world.

It sails through my brain, dispelling my fears, my anger, my confusion. Suddenly the Universe opens. My helplessness dissolves.

The habit I’m breaking, the pattern I’m moving out of, is the perspective that The Man, The Establishment, The Government is my slave driver. Reaching out, strengthening ties and seeing the divine in every creature is what I can choose to do. Celebrating the beauty of life and common wins, no matter how small, is my choice.

And so, on the eve of my 31st year, I see that the world won’t change in the Us v. Them case while I sit praying for a sympathetic judge. That has led us to a stalemate. Any idiot can stand his ground or hide self-righteously behind her beliefs.

I choose to forge a new path. I choose compassion. I choose balance and partnership. And my birthday wish is that you choose the same.

Practical magic


2011
04.04

I’m a big fan of magic. Given the right mentality, proper motivation and a little faith, I’m fairly confident I can stop time, heal others and fly. So when I heard about the movie Limitless, I was equal parts irritated and excited.

For those who don’t know the premise of the film, here’s the trailer:

I’ve not seen the movie, but I’m going to decide my own ending. This man who takes these pills was actually taking placebos. A woman (or other love interest) helps him understand that. He wakes up from his dependency to realize that he was capable of these things all along.

As soon as I heard about the plot to this movie, it annoyed me because everyone has the ability to be limitless but most of us just don’t know it. Our minds are powerful tools that are held in check by societal norms, familial attitudes and general habits. From the moment we’re born, our nerve, our abilities, our magic is being shaped by what those around us do, what we’re told and how we’re treated.

At the same time the release of this film excited me because maybe it would awaken that realization in other people aside from me. Perhaps others would have epiphanies in the theater, exiting into their own personal super-hero moment.

And, oh wouldn’t that be sweet, I thought. More people doing exactly what they wanted without regard to what they or others told them they could do. I was riding my high, heading into a motivational blog post thinking I’m going blow their minds.

But I woke up this morning and this thought rained on my parade: If I really thought I was limitless, would I be living life the way I do?

That screeched me to a halt.

It took me awhile to come up with the answer. I went through my goals (wealthy, Nobel Prize winning novelist optioned for a movie by the Coen brothers with land in Downieville, Sweden and New Zealand to name a few) along with a few whimsical desires (songstress and model traveling the world).

I came up with this:

Instant gratification is one of the warriors, nay the key players, destroying our belief in magic. And in ourselves. And Limitless, like most of Hollywood and America, isn’t helping. But the battle isn’t one-sided. Our lack of patience and discernment are destuctive forces against the magic of fulfilling our destiny, in realizing our true power.

I’m capable of any one of my goals, and with a little luck even my whimsical desires. (Luck and I go way back.) But what all of these things require is practice, persistence and patience. And then there’s the question of whether I even want them.

Yes, being a bad-ass, sexy frontwoman who models as a side gig around the planet sounds glamourous, but it also means talking to a lot of people I’m not interested in, staying up later and getting up earlier than I care to, and having a travel schedule dictated by someone else.

(One could argue that if I was limitless I could dictate all of these things, but I’m trying to live in the world everyone else insists on, so I guess I play by some rules. For now.)

On the other hand, I’m already an author, love to write, am familiar with geography or folks in all the aforementioned lands, and am pretty confident that I’ll always be wealthy.

But if I were a Hollywood movie, these moments that have taken years would simply be a blink in the plot to set up for the climax. (I’m reminded of Kurt Vonnegut’s explanation of drama.)

In another life, I’m fairly certain my impatience killed my limitless nature.  But in this one, I get it. I’ll stick around. I’ll edit my novel. Listen to other writers. Invest. Network. Travel. And believe.

The point I originally wanted to make remains: Magic exists inside of you. You’re capable of anything. You can do whatever you believe you’re able to do. But magic takes time. And it’s rarely as exciting as Harry Potter books/movies make you think it is.

And once you understand that, my secondary point is much more important: Be careful what you wish for. Know what you want. Make sure you consider all angles. Be discerning. Be patient. Be grateful. And keep your eyes open.

That’s when magic happens.

A prayer for the Pharisees


2011
03.27

Although I’m not a particularly religious person, I usually give something up for Lent. I’m not really sure why. I guess I like the idea of doing something JC did. I’m a big fan.

Generally I give something up that won’t get in my way too much. One year I gave up McDonalds. Another year: television.

Kill your television

I know, I know. Perhaps I’m missing the point of Lent, but based on Catholicism and much of Christianity as it’s practiced these days, isn’t it all pretty much about making yourself uncomfortable and unhappy?

Lent for life 2

Why should Lent be the only time you’re cheerless? Let’s spread that around a bit. Misery, after all, is always entertaining house guests.

This didn’t dawn on me until I decided on a whim to give up something that might be more difficult to stop: being cruel to myself. I decided to give up making myself unhappy for Lent.

We all have our inner critics roaming around in our brains, our guts and occasionally even our voice boxes. Sometimes they work for good, keeping us out of trouble.

You probably shouldn’t eat all the pastries. Sharing is caring, after all.

Launch Donuts @ FlickrHQ

But mostly, and especially if you grew up in a Baptist, Catholic or Jewish home, they succeed at making you feel bad about yourself for pretty much anything you do. You work in a corporate job, then you’re a sell-out. You’re an artist living paycheck to paycheck: you’re worthless. You can’t win, really.

So in the true spirit of Lent, I gave up something that was difficult for me — something that I relied on pretty much every day. I’m talking no matter what I do, I don’t allow myself to feel bad about it. I don’t listen to my inner critic. And I talk back.

 

I laugh at it when it tells me I look terrible. I look in the mirror and blow myself kisses.

I scoff when it says I’m an alcoholic for drinking that second glass of wine. JC certainly had no problems with the stuff. (I love the water into wine miracle. Frickin’ genius.)

I kick its ass when it tells me I’m no good and haven’t done a thing with my life. Then I walk into my job at a non-profit organization and kick some ass.

Where did this inner critic come from? Why on the Goddess’ green earth would I say these things about myself?

I have a hunch that it came from years of living in a repressed environment that said I shouldn’t be proud, or boast, or even talk about my success. What I should do is be better. Smarter. Prettier. Nicer. Perfect.

I’m sick of parents using religion to destroy young minds.

I’m tired of people who say they follow the doctrine of a man who said this:

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Doing this:

Children can understand when something is wrong, but their parents are their gods. If you tell them they’re mistaken enough times, they split into pieces and lose touch with their soul, with their truth.

But the one thing I think we all have in common is that we pray for someone like Jesus Christ to come to Earth. I would love to see someone stand in front of these people in their temples and turn their money-changing tables over.

While there are plenty of people accusing the church of covering up sexual abuse, I think this type of tyranny is child abuse. No one should have to suffer this kind of assault on their soul.

I encourage all those who are engaged in this warfare against their children to stop. It probably won’t be easy because it’s such a habit, but it’s also a pattern. Most likely, you were abused like this as a child yourself.

It may be necessary to seek counseling. Don’t be ashamed. Be proud that you can change. Accept love and tolerance as Jesus would, instead of spitting the words out like they’re some sort of curse.
essentials
I believe that anyone can change and evolve upward, toward the soul’s natural tendency of light. It’s tough when you spend years so far removed from it. It may feel unnatural, or even evil. I know it took me a few weeks to get reacquainted with mine.

For those who take my challenge to heart, I pray for you. Change is difficult, but it is attainable. For those who scoff at my words, I love you as Jesus does. Just don’t expect me to be your friend. I gave that up for Lent.

Say a prayer today for our fishes!


2010
06.23

When I saw this from a fellow Twitterer (is that a word?), I about peed my pants. Oh my gosh! It’s wishes for my fishes!

Today at 14:30 Pacific, there will be a time of prayer and meditation for all those affected by the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

I don’t know a lot about the organization, but that’s not really what the excitement for me is about. I believe in the power of prayer and meditation.

Am I gonna take a moment for the health of our Earth? Absolutely. And my energy will be added to others doing the same thing.

If you have time I encourage you to do the same. The ocean is our playground. The fishes are our friends. Let’s show ‘em some love!


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Monday (has a feel) Movie-ish Clip


2010
04.26

“It feels like Tuesday.”

“Tuesday has no feeling.” To this I disagree. Although I try to treat every day equally, I tend to agree that certain days have a feeling. I think this comes from years of doing the same things on the same days.

So I am going to try to shake things up. I worked on Saturday this weekend. I’m thinking about going out during the week. I woke up at the time I would normally go to work on Sunday. I say, let’s change up the week! Thank God it’s Monday!

Happy birthday to me!


2010
04.15

It’s my birthday week. Hell, it’s my birthday month! I’ve always been a big fan of birthdays–it’s like your own little holiday.

I’m not huge on gifts. That’s not to say I won’t accept them. I guess I just prefer the gift of someone’s company to anything that can be purchased from a store. And I won’t turn down a beer either.

But since it’s my birthday week, I feel like I can get away with going down my wish list. I already have a few people committed to helping me with this; I hope you’re in too.

I want:

  • Success in whatever we all strive to do. Let’s meet our goals. Let’s be as awesome as possible.
  • More friendly moments. Let’s be nicer to store clerks, bank tellers, wait staff, people you pass on the street, census agents, and fellow drivers (even the morons).
  • Honesty. If you can’t make it, don’t say you can. If you want to know if that outfit makes you look fat, be prepared to hear yes. Let’s be real.
  • Nuclear disarmament. Hey! It’s my birthday wish list.
  • More green moments. Let’s walk to the store. Hold your nose, empty, wash and recycle that old plastic dish in the fridge.
  • A few more questions. Remember when conventional wisdom said the earth was flat? There’s gotta be more of that out there. Let’s find it!
  • Love. Embrace the love you have. Extend the love you give.

The more we want for everyone, the more we will all have. I know this is my birthday wish list, but I’d like to think it benefits many. If you’re in, thanks for playing! If not, I hope to see you the next time the game comes around.

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