Archive for the ‘feminisim’ Category

Reincarnating Pandora


2012
08.20

Once upon a time I stopped writing this blog in order to put my energy into a novel. I’ve spent several months shopping it around to agents and publishers, so we’ll see what happens there.

fingers crossed for luck

For the longest time I didn’t want to talk about my book. It was strange, like I was embarrassed about my work. Or maybe afraid that people would laugh at it. Can you say “fear of criticism?”

But after telling the story to several people in person, I can’t believe I don’t have something about it on my blog. Silly Rebecca!

The novel, Reincarnating Pandora, weaves the mythological narrative of Pandora into my present-day memoir. It’s written in the third person, mostly because I felt I lived outside my body, watching myself, for most of my life.

Rebecca, a 27-year-old workaholic, wakes up one day to find herself divorced and virtually friendless. What’s worse is she’s been roped into a plot by the gods, so now she knows she’s crazy too.

Zeus and Athena reincarnate an increasingly frustrated Pandora through centuries on Earth, struggling to get the plot of her reality TV show correct. Rebecca has become Pandora’s latest vessel.

The gods’ entertainment threatens to implode when Loki, a minor god, stumbles upon Pandora during the New England witch-hunts. Loki sees her as the ticket out of his boring, dead-end job in mischief.

He jumps into the life of an irresistible, struggling actor trying to seduce his high-school sweetheart Rebecca. Pandora and Rebecca must work together to break the cycle of failure, for the gods, humanity and themselves.

Pandora by Jules Joseph Lefebvre

Pandora by Jules Joseph Lefebvre

When my fifth grade teacher read the myth of Pandora to our class, I became incensed. Of course, the story of Adam and Eve was spoon fed to me as a toddler, so I didn’t quite get the sexism behind that, but it rang out loud and clear in this story.

This was long before I’d heard or understood the word feminism. It just seemed ridiculous to blame all the world’s problems on one person — one woman. So I rewrote the myth. As an 11-year old.

When I got older, something happened, and I scoured my world to find that piece of paper. I even tried to get in touch with my fifth grade teacher on the off-chance that he still had it. No dice.

So I figured I’m a bit more grown up, know a little more about life and I happen to be a writer, so I rewrote the myth again. And out of that came this novel.

I’m thrilled to be writing for Sunny Sanguinity again and I don’t intend to take a sabbatical like that for my next book, but I think it was a good exercise for my first. And hopefully, when you read it, you will too.

 

Birthday wish No. 31


2011
04.15

I’ve been trying to recognize patterns and habits in my life and change them for the past four years or so. History repeats itself, so they say, and I have been bound and determined to make sure my negative tendencies and choices are replaced with healthful ones.

Break the circle, so to speak. And so far, it’s been a pretty successful endeavor, if I do say so myself.

Damn, I'm good.

So why is it, that as I stand on the precipice of a birthday, a prime number age at that, I realize I just walked into one of the oldest patterns in the book?

My past lives are screaming at me, “My mother was a slave to a man!” “My father served a man until he died!!” “My family were slaves to man!!!” as they watch me gleefully dance into a job serving … the Catholic church. This isn’t the man, the government. This is The Man: The Establishment.

Nevermind that I had to get a job quickly because of a desperate situation. The strange thing is that this didn’t even occur to me. I can’t even confess to being seduced by money because I accepted the job before I even knew my salary.

All I can say is that this happened because it was an abstract concept to me: the Church. Maybe it’s because I don’t really know any devout Catholics that I just assumed there weren’t any. Foolish, shortsighted Rebecca.

Now I work with nuns.

Hindsight is truly 20/20.

As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m a bit of a feminist. I fiercely defend women’s rights. And I’m not so keen on the idea of sexually abusing children either. Deserved or not, my view of the Church was a witch-burning, child-abusing, patriarchal, land-owning oppressor.

After a little run-in with a co-worker who cringed at the words “family planning,” did I ever climb up on my high horse and ride it. Now I’m a good-looking lady, but self-righteousness doesn’t flatter anyone.

At the same time, Congress was fighting over funding for Planned Parenthood. And I had just been to an insanely good Ani Difranco concert. I was on fire.

*Drama Queen exit stage left*

Being the good adult I am (and at the pleading of Sante), I didn’t immediately quit my job. I talked to aforementioned co-worker and even *gasp* a Sister, one of JC’s wives. (Damn, dude is a pimp!) I’ve stayed on, begrudging all the patriarchy around me, becoming what I swore I would never be: An angry feminist.

This can’t be right, I thought earlier tonight. I’m turning 31 (an excellent age) tomorrow. My life is unbelievable rad: great friends, amazing man, house, running water, yummy food, etc. etc. How does this jive?

Pandora’s and my dragon warrior’s voice were all echoing in my head. Was staying at my job flushing my life into the pattern I’d been trying to bust out of for eons?

But as I was taking a shower (bless that amazing space for epiphanies), my relatively new habit of attempting balance kicked this thought at me: Maybe the answer to The Man isn’t disassociation; perhaps a knee-jerk feminist response isn’t the answer. After all, isn’t balance about avoiding extremes?

Be the change you want to see in the world.

It sails through my brain, dispelling my fears, my anger, my confusion. Suddenly the Universe opens. My helplessness dissolves.

The habit I’m breaking, the pattern I’m moving out of, is the perspective that The Man, The Establishment, The Government is my slave driver. Reaching out, strengthening ties and seeing the divine in every creature is what I can choose to do. Celebrating the beauty of life and common wins, no matter how small, is my choice.

And so, on the eve of my 31st year, I see that the world won’t change in the Us v. Them case while I sit praying for a sympathetic judge. That has led us to a stalemate. Any idiot can stand his ground or hide self-righteously behind her beliefs.

I choose to forge a new path. I choose compassion. I choose balance and partnership. And my birthday wish is that you choose the same.

Superwomen need love too


2010
04.07

Oh Christina. How I love thee. I’m stoked for your next album, Bionic, mostly because you get it. Women ARE superheroes, and once in a while we are bionic.

You’ve been an inspiration to me through some tough years. You march to the beat of your own drum. And when my rhythm section went quiet, I cranked yours up. You rock, girl! You definitely make it onto my superhero list.

Here’s to all the women who make the world a better and different place. Show those women your love and appreciation. They may make it look easy, but we all need encouragement, love and affection. It’s superhero fuel. That and candy.

Good girlfriends–every woman deserves them


2009
04.12

I’ve been watching PBS lately. I’m not the biggest fan of television, but I think that if it’s not on a few hours a week I’m missing out on something. I’ve learned that volcanoes in Hawaii sing songs in tones lower than audible to the human ear, and if you want to make salmon burgers that aren’t too dry add some mushrooms and onions to them.

This morning there was a program about mothers exposing their “dark side” online, namely that they are still sexual, they sometimes don’t like their children and wonder why they became moms to begin with. Some women feel like online blogs and chat rooms are a good place to do this because they are anonymous and they feel like they aren’t being judged.

While I agree that that the Internet is a great place to sound off and be anonymous, I am sad that some mothers don’t have friends they can turn to in situations like these. Of course I’m not speaking from experience, but I’m sure that all of those feelings are common ones among mothers. Some women say they lose all their friends when they become a mother. I say, they weren’t good enough friends to begin with if they can’t stick by you in a time of extreme change.

Women have made great strides in the past 100 years. We can vote, own land, get divorced with minimal public scrutiny, be single or childless and not be accused of witchcraft or thrown in an asylum (most times), work in most occupations, and run for public office. I think the greatest challenge feminism has in this new era is learning how to work together as women.

I know many women who say they get along better with males than females. I’m one of them. However, in the past year I’ve had the good fortune of meeting some really great women. I spend most of my time with my women friends and have never felt to uplifted and on top of the world. When women come together and support each other in a nonjudgmental way, it’s amazing what we can accomplish.

My challenge to myself and other females is this: support each other. Work with each other instead of against each other. Let’s quit judging (or try to). No one is perfect or should they be. The world would be pretty boring if that were the case.

Fifth grade made me a feminist


2008
03.30

March 29, 2008 – Saturday

I was listening to Dazed and Confused by Led Zepplin on the way downtown today when the line The soul of woman was created below made me think twice. Now I have always kinda liked this lyric because, quite frankly, it makes us ladies sound pretty bad ass. But today it struck me that maybe it wasn’t quite as cool as I thought.

I consider myself a feminist, and while I might sleep through certain parts of my life, once my passion gets fired up it’s hard to calm it down. (Sort of an “If your’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention” kinda thing.) So I’m walking down the block thinking of the story of Pandora’s box and Eve in the garden of Eden and I’m getting righteously pissed off! The feeling is familiar and almost comfortable. The first time I heard the myth of Pandora I was 11 — I freaked out at my fifth grade teacher for reading us such a sexist story!
Women have made great strides in the last century to be sure, but there is a fundamental view that hasn’t changed. My friend says it’s because the world tends to see things in black-or-white, yes-or-no terms. The madonna or the whore. The great double-standard. How can this be changed? Can it be? I know I fall into the trap as often as the next person and I’m supposed to believe in equal treatment for both sexes.
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