Archive for the ‘writing’ Category

But wait! There’s more!


2013
05.16

I was concentrating so hard (read: flipping out) while writing my last post that I forgot to tell you all about what I had been up to on other parts of the ole Internet. And turns out I had a few other things published this week that I wanted to share.

hooray cats

I went a little crazy and unraveled (or frogged for those of you into the fiber arts) a project I just didn’t like. You can read about it over at Jordana Paige’s blog.

I also had a new post at Think Simple Now that I’m really proud of. It’s called Be More, Do Less. Please read, comment and share.

Thanks for all your support and compliments on my writing. I appreciate every single person who reads my stuff. It’s one of the big reasons I write, after all.

Without Darth Vader there is no Yoda


2013
05.15

Once upon a time when I was an angsty teenager, I wrote poetry. I kept a journal filled with all sorts of thoughts and random musings, most of which I have carted around with me even as a thirty-something adult.

This stuff is so important to me, it made the cut when all I had were suitcases to transport me across the country. Sometimes I look through it and marvel at how decent a writer I was, although I’m also embarrassed about how large a percentage of it was about boys.

young love

For many years I’ve struggled with being able to share things on this blog that weren’t “sunny” or optimistic. That’s why my friend and I started Collaborations of Abstraction. But I’ve realized that it isn’t just about sharing other things on this blog. It was about me writing those types of ideas and thoughts in general.

It got me thinking about those journals and about one poem in particular.

flames by rebecca a watson

This was my first ever published piece of writing. My first byline. And it was thrilling to see my name in print. Unfortunately my excitement was short-lived because my parents weren’t so fond of me writing about being burned alive, even metaphorically speaking.

Much of my writing was like this. It wasn’t depressing (I didn’t think), but it made those closest to me uncomfortable. And while I’m sure they didn’t have any intention of stifling my creativity, the “Can’t you write something more happy? More upbeat?” started to change my style and myself.

It wasn’t until these last few years that I’ve discovered I balk at expressing my anger and sadness in words. I rarely wax poetic about frustration because, well, who wants to hear about that?

But then I’d read these “great American novelists” like Henry Miller and wonder how he got so damn successful emoting in such a negative way. Why on the Goddess’ green earth is The Great Gatsby such an amazing story when it’s so damn tragic?

These questions started to wrestle something out from deep within me. And of course the answer is so simple. Without light, there is no darkness. Without sadness, who could understand joy? Without Beethoven there would be no Icona Pop. That, my friends, would be terrible.

I’m making a genuine effort to feel and express all of my emotions in an adult way, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. And that’s the thing. I could blame my family for my inability to express those thoughts, but they’re not me. I am. I’ve gotta own that.

And so as much as I would love to be all sunny all of the time, there’s gotta be a little wiggle room. I say this for my benefit. I doubt many of you will throw your hands in the air and say. “Well I’m done with her!”

And if you do, that’s fine. That doesn’t matter. The self-censorship stops now. And I’m talking about in all of my writing. Can you believe I edit myself in my journal? What kind of madness is that?

Rebecca's Journal Written pages

The censorship bureau has been terminated.

Are you censoring yourself? What emotions do you have trouble expressing? I encourage you to make a commitment to changing that. Learn from my experience. Because the more you deny that part of you, the less the other part means.

How much does optimism mean when it’s your auto-pilot? Are you really that nice if you have no boundaries? Once you discover the other parts of you, your personality and your life will flourish. And that actually sounds pretty amazing, doesn’t it?

Eating the whole elephant


2013
01.25

All week I’ve been putting (more than the normal amount of) pressure on myself  to write this post. You see, it’s my 300th post, and I thought, It should be something compelling and well-written and fan-frickin-tastic.

Of course it should. But shouldn’t I strive for all of my published writing to be like that? Don’t I? Being the perfectionist I am was, the answer is usually yes. So why is this post any different?

I certainly didn’t get to 300 posts by being so picky that I sat paralyzed, unable to write a thing. I mean, I’ve been there, but somehow I made it past that stage. I have made it past that stage 299 times, in fact.

140/365 one forty

If you had asked me to write 300 blog posts when I started Sunny Sanguinity, I probably would’ve shuddered at the enormity of it all. I may have even ran in the other direction. That’s a lot of thinking, writing and editing.

Many of us have made it through a month or so of resolutions or new intentions for this year, myself included. Some of them may look a lot like Write 300 blog posts. Overwhelming. Perhaps vague.

I know I’ve got a few of those in there. Learn Spanish? That’s a mountain with the summit obscured by clouds. How tall is it?

With goals like this, it’s helpful to break it down into smaller pieces. When I wrote my novel, I determined that if I worked on it for 90 minutes a day, I could finish after a few months.

But here’s the weird thing. Even when I was sending my manuscript out to publishers, meaning it was as finished as I could get it without the help of an editor, I had this compulsion to go through the whole thing again. To do the work of 177 pages again.

It will only take a minute, I assured myself. I’ve heard this line of thinking beforeand no, it won’t take only a minute.

two minutes

This is what two minutes looks like.

I think that’s what’s happening with my desire to write something so amazing for my 300th post. I want to summarize it somehow. As if it’s possible to distill more than six years of life, change, and writing into some tiny post.

That would take an elephant of a post. And while I’m working on eating this elephant, sometimes it’s good to just congratulate yourself on how far you’ve come, which is what I’ve decided to do with my 300th.

My dearest Rebecca,

I’m proud of the work you’ve done. Your writing has improved as has your knowledge of programming languages. Your personal development is nothing short of miraculous. If the next sixish years are anything like your last, this blog is gonna be a helluva fun time to write and read. 

Your closest friend,

Rebecca

For all of the work you have in front of you — all of the elephants you’re chewing on one bite at a time — there are others you have already finished and more still you are halfway through. Just remember to enjoy the meals and compliment the chef occasionally.

dinner set

P.S. Speaking of elephants, I achieved one of my 2013 goals already by getting published on another blog. Check out my first post over at Work Awesome.

P.P.S. It was a banner week for my writing being published. Read about lessons I use to curb my gossiping over at Think Simple Now.

Looking forward: 2013 in Tarot cards


2013
01.04

I was reading my journal from last January, and one of the things I really wanted to do was to write a regular column for another blog. And I realized I’d started writing for Think Simple Now this year. Yee haw! I did it!

Sometimes I get nervous to blog about things like that. After all, if it doesn’t happen, I’ve just broadcast my own defeat to whoever wants to read about it.

This is why I would often not tell a soul when I tried to quit smoking. But the time I actually succeeded was when I put a widget on my Facebook page telling everyone how long I’d gone without a cigarette. Success came when I risked (in my mind) a very public failure.

Since then I’ve been more open, writing about trying to get my book published, sharing my impossible list and now my goals for 2013. I’ve been spending a lot of 2012 doing daily Tarot readings, so I thought I’d combine the two for this list.

pents01
Learn more about investments. I’ve got the 401k and Roth IRA thing down. It’s time to learn how to make our money work harder for us, rather than just sit in a savings account. I’ve got a book, e-courses and a smart cousin to help with this education.

Finish advanced directives and other documents. I know what I need to do in order to make things easy for those who love me when I die; it’s just a matter of finishing it. Yes I realize I’m in my 30s, but getting this done gives peace of mind to myself and my family. And that’s the whole point. Security.

Continue my education. Now that I’ve overcome my fear of heights, I want to learn how to rock climb. There’s a gym right by my house.  I’m also planning on spending some time at Witch Skewl. And my  Spanish is going to get polished, thanks to my dear friend Nicole who is lending me her language learning software. Score!   wands03

 

Start and publish my new writing project. This one will be non-fiction and more in the vein of this blog and the stuff I write over at Think Simple Now. Personal development with a bit of practical witchcraft. The best part? It’s going to be available as an e-book or podcast, self-published style.

Partner and write more. I’ve got a few opportunities to do some more writing for new clients and in different channels. But I’d like to do some more guest blog posts for others (if you’re interested, email me) and get another regular writing column this year.

Appreciate my hard work. I’ve spent a lot of time putting my energy out into the Universe in 2012. I sent loads of letters to agents and publishers. No serious interest yet, but I want to pat myself on the back for doing all of that. Rejection isn’t easy for me, and I’m proud of myself.

 

 

10 swords tarotBe OK with sad feelings. Yes, this optimist has a hard time dealing with feelings that aren’t all bright and shiny. But they’re normal and it would be really weird if I didn’t have any negative thoughts. So I’m working on embracing them.

Process old memories and release them. I’ve had my fair share of bad crap happen to me in this life. A lot of what I’m struggling with is actually processing the emotions that came along with them. Like I said, I’m not good with fear, anger, rage, resentment, etc. So I’ve made a pact to feel those emotions I’ve been holding in for so long. Because it’s the only way to release them.

Embrace change. I’ve always prided myself for my ability to handle this very thing like a pro. What I don’t think I’ve realized though is that change and transition don’t stop. It’s not like you get through one round and then everything stays the same after that. Nope. So I’d like to remember that This too shall pass. 

 

cups11
Become a better friend. When I first met Johanna, my dear friend from Norway, it became obvious to me that my friendship skills weren’t as good as hers. So I worked hard at it, but I’ve kinda let it slip to the back of my mind lately. I’m not saying I’m not a good friend; I’d just like to be even better.

I’d like to be more quiet, listening completely. I’d like to answer with questions and thoughts about their conversation, instead of how it relates to me and my past. I’d like to offer less advice and judgment, unless they ask for it. Friendship is priceless and great friends are hard to find. I want to be one of those.

Apply all of the above to myself. I’d like to extend all of the same courtesies I would to my friends to myself. Being your own best friend is one of the quickest path to emotional growth and happiness, which is a huge goal for me.

 

chariot tarot
Keep pushing. There are a lot of things I want to do with this beautiful life of mine, and there are times where I just want to skip the hard part. (Who doesn’t really?) I’ve got to stay the course and keep working toward my goals with real determination.

The best investment you can make is in yourself, which is what I’m doing. I’ve just got to keep moving in the right direction with maybe a twinge of stubborness. Lucky for me I’m an Aries — the ram — so I shouldn’t have too much trouble with this one.

Embody assertiveness. I’ve always been kinda passive and it’s gotten me into trouble over the years. This year I’d like to say what I mean and speak up about my needs, even when it makes me uncomfortable.

Travel. New Orleans in April. Istanbul in August. England in September. I’ll probably do some camping in there as well. Hooray for new passport stamps!

So there it is, my list of 2013 goals. It all seems so easy, so fresh when I start out. It’s the following through that makes it tough. But I’m confident I’ll do all right, especially since this blog provides a bit of accountability.

What about you? Have you lined up what you’d like to see for yourself this year?

25 ideas for New Year’s resolutions


2012
12.24

This year is ending, as it does around this time every year. It’s natural to reflect on what’s happened (Is it just me or has 2012 been a huge, long year?) and what you’d like to see happen next year.

I’ve written before about how to make New Year’s resolutions, or any resolutions for that matter, really stick. I’m a huge fan of self-improvement, so this year I thought I’d give you a few ideas if you’re looking for ways to make 2013 kick ass in big ways and small.

1. Floss every day.

Smile

Take care of your mouth. Breathing, eating, talking. It all happens here.

2. Eat a fresh fruit or veggie at every meal.

3. Take one photo a week.

4. Plant two things you can eat.

5. Cook one vegetarian meal a week.

6. Journal one page every morning. Here are 285 ideas to get you started.

Rebecca's Journal Written pages

7. Write a living will or advanced directive.

8. Take an art class.

9. Learn basic Spanish. (Or any language.)

10. Read 12 books.

reading is sexy

11. Spend an hour out doors every week.

12. Learn to make jam.

13. Start a gratitude board and add one thing every day.

14. Figure out how much water you need and drink it! Use a marked water bottle to track your progress.

15. Learn HTML or another programming language.

16. List five things you’re scared to do. Do one every other month.

17. List 10 places you’d like to declutter. Attack one a month.

Office Desk Setup

Wouldn’t it be nice if this was your desk?

18. Join a 30-Day Challenge group and participate at least 10 months of the year.

19. Learn to brew beer.

20. Start a blog. Write once a week. Here are some ideas.

21. Write one short story a month.

22. Spend $50 a week at local businesses.

23. Learn all the countries of the world.

24. Mail someone(s) you love a letter every month of the year.

25. List 10 unfinished projects. Spend the year tying up loose ends.

I’m not suggesting you start early, but it’s good to know what you want to accomplish before 2013 starts, so give it some thought. For now, enjoy the holidays. May they be filled with good music, loved ones, mouth-watering food, light and love.

My (Nothing’s) Impossible List


2012
09.11

For awhile now, I’ve been thinking about writing a life list. You know what I’m talking about. They’re all over the Internet. Some people call it a bucket list.

I’ve been hesitant because I have tried to get away from the to-do list. I just don’t want my life to boil down to crossing stuff off lists. I want to do things because the opportunity presents itself, not because I get to check it off some list.

But every time I saw someone’s list, a little voice in my head would say “I want to do that.” And I shush it up like some obnoxious child talking during a movie. Still it would persist.

“That looks fun,” she’d say. “What would be on my list?” And she’d start to dream.

dreams and wishes. 62/365

Then I’d slam the door on her little dreams because I’m the adult and what I say goes. Right?

But recently I read this post on how to have a personal life and run a successful business. The secret, it turns out, is to have a list of things you want to do in your life. Written down. Where you can see them from time to time.

Now I’m feeling really sheepish. I talk about setting goals, writing them down and coming back to them all the time. Then I saw the name of someone’s list. He called it The Impossible List, and it was not a bucket list.

It’s all those things that he thought only the cool guys in movies did. Things that at one point he never thought he could do. He was looking for a challenge. When I saw this, the little dreamer in my head started working overtime and I couldn’t shut her up. Because I was dreaming too.

Joel Runyon has inspired me to create my own list. I borrow heavily from his format, and many of the challenges I’ve witnessed other awesome people doing, but they’re all my very own desires. My (not-so) impossible dream.

Edited 11/21/12 to add fencing and change state count.

Life

  • Change at least one person’s life each year through my writing.
  • Donate annually to the charitable organizations I believe in.
  • Leave a legacy.
  • Grow a garden big enough to supply us with our produce.
  • Teach people how to garden, cook, knit and crochet.
  • Participate in a flash mob.
  • Go to a World Series game.

Fitness

  • Participate in a triathlon.

One time I participated in a 5K. A triathlon seems not entirely impossible.

Travel

    • Visit all 50 states in the United States. (28 down, 22 to go!)
    • Visit six continents: North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Australia (I don’t like cold, and Antarctica doesn’t need more tourists.)
    • Camp on top of a mountain.
    • Camp in the desert.
    • See a hockey game at the Winter Olympics.

I was blown away when I made a life-long dream come true before I was 30! Yeah!

  • Watch diving at the Summer Olympics.
  • Own property in five parts of the world.
  • Participate in an archaeological dig.
  • Sleep under the stars in the jungle.
  • Travel for three months of the year, every year.
  • Live in a different country for a few years.
  • Hike across the U.K.
  • See the Northern Lights in Finland.
  • Throw my husband and I a party somewhere fabulous and pay for all our friends to attend.

Adrenaline Rushes

    • Go sky diving.
    • Learn to rock climb.
Penyfan

Because not even a fear of heights can ruin this view.

  • Ride roller coasters at least once a year.
  • Sing in front of a stadium crowd.
  • Speak publicly to thousands of people.
  • Appear on live television.
  • Be interviewed on The Daily Show.
  • Be interviewed on Fresh Air.
  • Climb a volcano.
  • Swim in a public fountain.

Skillz

    • Learn to play the guitar.
    • Speak Spanish confidently.
    • Own and play the piano every day.
    • Learn and apply herbology into my daily life.
Herb Harvest

Hello lovelies!

  • Learn to ride a motorcycle.
  • Learn to invest in the stock market.
  • Get my J.D. and protect the First Amendment.
  • Learn to program software and computer hacking.
  • Learn to be a bee keeper.
  • Learn to play chess and beat someone who’s better than me.

Business

  • Work for myself full-time.
  • Earn six figures annually.
  • Retire with six figures annually.
  • Write a novel.
  • Write a best-selling novel.
  • Write a Pulitzer Prize winning novel.
  • Write a best-selling personal development book.
  • Have novel made into movie by Coen Brothers
  • Own a bakery specializing in gluten-free and dairy-free pastries.
  • Own a B&B.

I’m pretty sure these will evolve and change as life usually does. And I’m going to check back on it occasionally. Really, I made this list for the dreamer in me. I’m pretty sure now that it’s written down, reality and I are going to find some common ground.

Is there anything you’re surprised isn’t on my list? Let me know. Would you make an Impossible List? I wanna hear about it!

Reincarnating Pandora


2012
08.20

Once upon a time I stopped writing this blog in order to put my energy into a novel. I’ve spent several months shopping it around to agents and publishers, so we’ll see what happens there.

fingers crossed for luck

For the longest time I didn’t want to talk about my book. It was strange, like I was embarrassed about my work. Or maybe afraid that people would laugh at it. Can you say “fear of criticism?”

But after telling the story to several people in person, I can’t believe I don’t have something about it on my blog. Silly Rebecca!

The novel, Reincarnating Pandora, weaves the mythological narrative of Pandora into my present-day memoir. It’s written in the third person, mostly because I felt I lived outside my body, watching myself, for most of my life.

Rebecca, a 27-year-old workaholic, wakes up one day to find herself divorced and virtually friendless. What’s worse is she’s been roped into a plot by the gods, so now she knows she’s crazy too.

Zeus and Athena reincarnate an increasingly frustrated Pandora through centuries on Earth, struggling to get the plot of her reality TV show correct. Rebecca has become Pandora’s latest vessel.

The gods’ entertainment threatens to implode when Loki, a minor god, stumbles upon Pandora during the New England witch-hunts. Loki sees her as the ticket out of his boring, dead-end job in mischief.

He jumps into the life of an irresistible, struggling actor trying to seduce his high-school sweetheart Rebecca. Pandora and Rebecca must work together to break the cycle of failure, for the gods, humanity and themselves.

Pandora by Jules Joseph Lefebvre

Pandora by Jules Joseph Lefebvre

When my fifth grade teacher read the myth of Pandora to our class, I became incensed. Of course, the story of Adam and Eve was spoon fed to me as a toddler, so I didn’t quite get the sexism behind that, but it rang out loud and clear in this story.

This was long before I’d heard or understood the word feminism. It just seemed ridiculous to blame all the world’s problems on one person — one woman. So I rewrote the myth. As an 11-year old.

When I got older, something happened, and I scoured my world to find that piece of paper. I even tried to get in touch with my fifth grade teacher on the off-chance that he still had it. No dice.

So I figured I’m a bit more grown up, know a little more about life and I happen to be a writer, so I rewrote the myth again. And out of that came this novel.

I’m thrilled to be writing for Sunny Sanguinity again and I don’t intend to take a sabbatical like that for my next book, but I think it was a good exercise for my first. And hopefully, when you read it, you will too.

 

Is there such a thing as certain failure?


2012
05.17

When I was young I seemed to be naturally good at everything I did. My grades were good. I held first chair in band. I played the piano beautifully. I got the lead in our high school musical.

foosball champs

I was even part of a champion Foosball team.

But my dirty little secret was this: I didn’t do things I wasn’t immediately good at.

Over the years I’ve turned my nose up at myriad opportunities to try new things because I just didn’t seem to be very good at them: improv, writing music, jogging, weight lifting, sculpture … god the list seems endless.

The reason is obvious: Fear of failure. I don’t think I’m alone in this. I’ve been developing my failure callous lately because I’m walking directly into rejection territory: I’m approaching publishers and agents for my book.

Now I’m an optimist on almost every day of the week, but I’m forcing myself to be a realist here. Books are rejected all the time. Henry Miller’s work was rejected. So was Kurt Vonnegut’s. Sylvia Plath’s. And Rudyard Kipling’s. Hunter mutha-effin’ Thompson!?!

I just know I’m going to get some of those letters. I think this is the first time in my life I’ve walked into certain “failure.” It’s sorta unnerving; I just keep forcing myself to do a little more each day. I’m spinning in a completely unfamiliar orbit, the fool on the hero’s journey.

Is there such a thing as certain failure? Is it considered failure if you later succeed? Or if you walk into it knowingly? I don’t know. I guess I don’t like using the word because it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But as my good friend Nicole says: Failure is a filter. It separates the brave ones from the rest.

I’m also hoping for some good news in there too. Because, while I may not be good at publishing a book, I am a pretty decent writer. And plus, I’m still an optimist.

If you wouldn’t mind, please send out some positive light and thoughts my way to make this thing happen! And if you know any editors or agents in the publishing industry, I wouldn’t mind hearing about that either ;)

New things are natural in a new year


2012
01.09

2012 has been with us now for about nine days, and I didn’t think I really had resolutions, per se. I like to just do things when they seem natural, but it turns out I’ve been inspired by this time of year.

    • Be nice. In my war against my inner criticit’s occurred to me that in some cases it’s good to have a critical or judgmental side. So instead of trying to destroy it, I’m thinking it just needs some new vocabulary. Every day in my journal I’m writing five things I like about myself.My 5 things   1. My hair is pretty.  2. I make delicious pancakes.  3. I listen to my doctor (most of the time).  4. I’m a good friend.  5. I follow my dreams.
    • Appreciate the moments. I take loads of photos, but most of them sit in a file on a computer and maybe end up on Facebook. This year, I’m printing those photos! Well, not all of them because some look like this:

      nobeyaki steam

      This was Nobeyaki Udon. It's a bit steamy isn't it?

But there are some that are great; it’s not really about how good the photo is, but how awesome the moment was. For this week, I’m having trouble choosing between this:

Big Sur New Year's Day moto ride

and this:

California Academy of Sciences with Sante's brother and sister

California Academy of Sciences with Sante's brother and sister

I’ll probably stick with the second one because even though it’s not about the photo, that shadow makes me a little bonkers.

  • Try new things.  I belong to a really cool Facebook group called Thirty Day Challenges. This is a way to try new and sometimes outrageous things. Some people have survived off of $200 worth of groceries in a month for a family of four. Others try volunteering a set number of hours throughout the month.

    It’s very non-judgmental and kinda fun. And it’s how I cultivated the habits of drying all my clothes naturally, composting and hopefully after this month, eating more raw fruits and veggies.

    kiwi shrimp lime relish

    This is definitely on the menu. (Click for the recipe.)

  • Don’t leave things unfinished. I feel like The Artist’s Way came into my life for a reason. It’s seriously one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself spiritually and creatively. My hubby bought me watercolor pencils for Christmas. Yes, even he believes I’m an artist!

    But I’m stuck, and mostly because I’ve been assigned to read my journals for the past few months.

    my journals

    Seriously? But I've got more writing to do!

  • Do more of what you love. Blogging is one of my favorite things, and I want to write more often. This requires me to be less of a perfectionist. I’ve set up my phone so that I can blog while I’m mobile, which will help because I am struck by inspiration most often when I’m not sitting in front of the computer. I know, crazy!

    Sunny Sanguinity is one of my true loves, and I want to spend more time with it. So fingers crossed, you’ll be seeing more posts in 2012 and maybe some upgrades around here. Thanks for reading and may you be filled with kindness, energy, bliss, joy and delicious food!

Creativity connects us with divine


2011
10.19

This is a quick post mostly because I’m trying to do other work, which somehow led me to this video: Elizabeth Gilbert talking about divinity in creativity and how adopting this attitude could keep us from killing off the great creative thinkers.

It’s so in line with The Artist’s Way, which if you’ve been following my blog know I’ve been struggling working through over the past few months.

The talk is about 19 minutes, which is a lot of time to invest, but it had my hair standing on end with chills through my whole body. Well done Elizabeth!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered: Why is it that so many creative works have to be depressing and their author’s story so tragic? I’m out to change that mentality along with Elizabeth Gilbert, and I hope you’ll join us!

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